Every day we are confronted with trivial choices and decisions that we must make. A choice implies I have to decide between this and that. Of course, doing nothing is also a choice. But, we let choices / decisions slide because they are trivial. We don’t sweat the small stuff; we let small stuff slide out of sight and out of mind. Sooner or later we are confronted with a BIG choice we don’t want to make. If I choose THIS there is a consequence (I’m true to my values / standards and a relationship is not the same — it is now distant). If I choose THAT, there is a consequence (The relationship is intact but I’ve dropped my values / standards). Consequences and the accompanied pain / inconvenience / loss of relationships and self-respect go together. Doing nothing is the choice that prolongs the suffering of indecision. So, what do your choices / decisions say about you?
Do your choices:
a. reflect your understanding of what is good and decent for your life (your now and your future / eternal hopes and dreams)
b. reflect your willingness to prioritize them over the good opinion of the crowd, even an individual?
c. reflect an effort to just smooth the waters (compromise your values / standards / self-respect) to maintain the relationships you have with certain important people in your life?
d. reflect that you don’t have any real set values / standards? Your decisions are made to be fully all in, with this particular group of people or individual. I don’t think; I just go with the group. (Word of caution: Be careful, when you blindly follow the masses, sometimes the M is silent and you are with them).
Fear is a motivating factor. The tough decisions involve a fear of losing something of value, like friends / relationships / possessions / status / health / life / self-respect. Tough decisions reveal our real character and what we really value. Wise decisions consider 5, 10, 20 years, eternity down the line. Prideful decisions (that one thing that switches rational thought to pure emotion) have a lot to do with what is on the line today (I don’t want to look weak / stupid / bad). At this point, goals are so important in decision making. At least, if you have goals, and if you are really focused on your future, you won’t let THAT ONE THING take your eyes off what is important.
STOP. Write down / say what is important to you? If your mind has gone blank, you are about to make a decision based on emotion (anger, pride, all about me). That decision usually takes you away from what you say you really want for yourself.
If you don’t have specific goals for your future in terms of education, vocation, relationships, health, how you will spend your money, make them today. As you write them, desire the good and chose the means to achieve it. Make them so specific, you can see yourself in them and your daily tasks. Words matter: they shape our thoughts which guide our actions. Goals set us free of the unimportant. The definition of unimportant is: anything that takes you 180 degrees away from where you want to go.