I like to begin class with a Q/A. A Q/A is a question or an idea to be explored.
Here is an example:
Q/A: Which is More Dangerous, Anger or Contempt? Explain Your Answer.
Anger is a strong feeling that makes you want to hurt someone or be unpleasant because of something unfair or unkind that has happened.
Contempt is a feeling of scorn towards another person and/or an act showing disrespect for someone or something.
Anger engages — it is an emotion that occurs when we want to change someone’s behavior and believe we can do so. It does not foreclose the possibility of dialogue and a relationship.
Ex: I think he feels a lot of anger towards his father, who treated him very badly as a child.
His apology took the edge off her anger.
Contempt separates — it is a strong feeling of dislike and having no respect for someone or something. Contempt attempts to mock, shame, and permanently exclude from relationships by belittling, name calling, humiliating, and/or ignoring. It is a dismissive attitude that doesn’t deserve to be taken seriously because they/you are _________, __________. fill in the blank
ex. They were bullies, and they showed contempt for everyone and everything.
He rewarded their kindness with hostility and contempt.
The answer to the Q/A: “Which is more dangerous, anger or contempt?” can be answered with a question.
When you get angry with __________, is your goal to put that person out of your life entirely?
You can be angry with someone and still be friends and/or still be married. Forrest Gump famously said “Life is like a box of chocolates”. I think people are like a box of See’s Chocolates too. Every piece of chocolate in the box is not my favorite. But, I still buy that box of See’s Chocolates during the Christmas season. Friends are not perfect, everyone has their quirks. Part of friendship is overlooking the small stuff, apologizing when one messes up and accepting the apology, forgiving and moving on.
When you are on the receiving end of contempt ( continual contemptuous mocking, smile, remark, tone or eye roll), is your goal to put that person out of your life entirely?
My personal opinion is for your own peace you have to. No one needs to be with someone who is disrespectful and shows/demonstrates their dislike for you. Their intent/purpuse is to be hurtful. Their attitude is superior. You don’t have to be ugly or show you are hurt, or respond in kind. You can simply walk away. This is not someone you are going to be friends with. They have no interest in you. Move on.
I like to begin each class with what I call Q/A. I use it for: