What will you do for love? — I Hate Consequences!

Unsure Girl

As I read the article, Christian High School Doubles Down on Banning Pregnant Student from Graduation, I’m reminded of 3 topics of health curriculum

• What Will You Do for love / acceptance? sex, drugs,. . . . .
• Are short term pleasures worth the long term consequence
• Establish boundaries or Guardrails* to protect future goals

Maddi Runkles has become a hot topic in social media and on talk radio. She is the 18 year old attending a private Christian High school who is complaining because she will not be allowed to walk at graduation. She says, she is unfairly being punished for her “visual reminder that she made a mistake”. The school responded with, “Runkles is being punished for her “immorality” not pregnancy. Everyone has an opinion and I’m reminded of how much I disliked consequences as a parent and absolutely hated them as a teacher. Who wins an argument when the attacking side uses emotional appeals and the defending side uses logic and rational thought? The emotional arguments / AKA the name callers.

QUESTIONS FOR STUDENTS:

• So, what will You Do for Love / acceptance (from your peers) and what will you give up in the process?

 

• We know what Maddi did (had sex with her boyfriend which resulted in a pregnancy)? What did she give up (by making the choice to have sex with her boyfriend).?

 

TEACHER NOTE: She gave up her reputation and her future with be different than she planned. — google has her name, if she had future goals in regard to college – She might not be able to go away to college now etc, career, future marriage — odds of getting married has just dropped by 1/3.

• Why did Maddi do what she did?

 

TEACHER NOTE: Lack of boundaries and not knowing what love really is. Maddi had no idea of what the real world was like. The one and only sign you need from a guy to know he doesn’t love you is, if he asks you to have sex. You have your answer. The answer is NO.

• TEACHER NOTE: Before I start a Sex Ed unit, I teach the students the different between men and women and the difference between love and selfishness. The kids have NO idea what love is. Kids think love is a feeling, an emotion. It isn’t. Love is all about actions motivated by reason, virtue and sacrifice. The problem with emotion is it mires a person in short term thinking which is usually about what that person desires at the moment. Rational thought is future oriented. That is the importance of starting health class with a goals unit.

I tell students all the time: “You have to know who loves you.” It really helps you make good decision for your life. You will know who really loves you by how they treat you:

People, who love you:

• Will do what is best for you.
• Will never knowingly say or do anything that would hurt you.
• Will not stand by and let you hurt yourself.
• Will never be jealous of your success.

Love is an action word about what you do for someone else. Hence, someone who loves you will do what is best for you and would not let you hurt yourself.

(Teachers ask your Class): Using the above definition of love, Is it possible to love someone and still ask them to:

• Send me a naked picture of yourself
• Break the law by consuming alcohol or any other illegal drug
• Have sex
• Sneak out at night and. . . . . (a friend’s son, took his father’s car keys while Dad was asleep, then he snuck out of the house (with friends who were spending the night). He drove his father’s office car until he drove the car into a tree — his friends talked him into it. His Dad almost lost his job.

TEACHER NOTE: The point of the above exercise is to establish the person who is doing the asking / encouraging doesn’t love you or care about you.

He / she is using you for what?  For his / her purposes. The user rarely suffers the consequences.

The above is an example of rational thought. The purpose of rational thought is to help you establish personal boundaries that will prevent the success of an emotional appeal.

• Other than the above examples, What kind of things do friends ask friends to do that are not good (as in: It will get them into trouble at school / home and harm their future) for them? Kids know the temptations are sex, drugs and rock and roll (current culture).

You want to surround yourself with people who love you.

Emotional appeals are very persuasive. Guys talk love to get sex. Foolish girls give sex to get love and instead get used. Knowing this I created a “Shall we have Sex in our Relationship Contract” for my daughters. There were purse checks!!! As I told them, you will be asked, and asked and asked. Guys are highly motivated. I don’t believe in arguing. Pull out the contact which has to be signed by both sets of parents witnessed by a notary republic. You will not be the one to say NO. I eventually introduced it to my health classes. There is one for girls and one more boys. When I met parents, they would inevitably ask me, Did I really have purse checks with my daughters? Yes, and may I recommend you check your daughters purse and your son’s wallet. I was way ahead of my time.

• google pictures of guardrails — guardrails are a system designed to keep people or vehicles from straying into dangerous or off-limits areas.

REFERENCES:

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/christinerousselle/2017/05/25/christian-high-school-doubles-down-on-banning-pregnant-student-from-graduation-n2331748

For the “Should We Have Sex in our Relationship?” (Contracts) check out my lesson plans at:  https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Sex-Ed-and-Relationships-Unit-All-Lessons-Bundle-1294682

 

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